31 Points!!

That's my best stableford score...ever!

I've just got back from our society's monthly roaming game, played at Standish Court near Wigan and I did very well, for me anyway.

It's a nice course, pretty forgiving (hence the score, probably) with lots of testing par 3's (2 of which I parred) and the back 9 especially is in a nice setting.

I'll be going back.


On Sunday my faithful Passepartou will be joining me at Oulton Hall near Leeds for 2 days of awesome golf, food and drink. Report later.

Form is temporary, class is permanent, I am rubbish.

Last week I was meant to be playing at Royal Lytham and St Annes, one of the most prestigious courses on this sceptred isle.

However, therein lies a tale.

Thursday evening I played a nice gentle 9 hole warm-up with two beginner friends of mine. I was awful. Truly, truly awful. I didn’t hit a single fairway, my irons were all over, wedges thinned time and time again. In fact, the only part of the game I was happy with was my putting.
I’m not sure why I was so bad, I’ve been playing OK recently. It might have been the 15 minute shower we had at the start of the round putting me off (I hate rain, you stop thinking about your shots and start thinking about keeping everything dry), or the softness of the course, or I don’t know. All I know is I was terrible.
So, I withdrew from playing at Lytham. My game was so poor I wouldn’t take it on the local pitch and putt, much less an Open Championship course.

However, I am playing a lot in the coming days. Friday I am playing in my work’s society at Standish Court. Sunday and Monday I am playing at Oulton Hall near Leeds with Andy. We will have to see how we go…….

Course review – Aldwark Manor

Aldwark Manor – 5th – 6th of August.

The course:

We arrived a Aldwark Manor on Sunday around lunchtime, ready to play the first of our 2 rounds. A quick trip to the pro shop, drinks purchased etc and we were off.

The course is quite interesting, without being spectacular. Staring with a par 3, it then moves on a long stretch of par 4s before crossing the river for the back section, 5 to 13. Most of the holes have something about them, trees in fairways, driving over the brow of a hill etc, but none of them really struck me as outstanding. The 18th, supposedly the signature hole, was ok, but nothing amazing. 2 tier green, approach over water, weeping willow blocking out part of the green. Pretty, but nothing to write home about.

On the plus side, the greens were immaculate, running fast and true all the way round. The rough was fair but punishing. Going in made for a lot of heavy sighs and fluffed shots. The fairways were in good condition, and I think there were only 2 areas of GUR on the course. The brochure mentioned that the river comes into play on 6 holes, but you would have to be pretty wild with the drive for the river to be a hazard. In fact, i was pretty wild a few times and it still wasn't in play. Saying that, fairways lined with rhododendron bushes always make for an interesting card.

Moments of the rounds:

Andy hit the pin on the 5th during the second round, and then followed by chipping in on the 6th for Birdie. Jammy get.

I hit a 311 yard drive on the 10th on day 2.
311.
Yards that is. 311 of them. I know, it’s a rare skill.


The Hotel:

The hotel room as very nice, twin, with a view over the approach to the hotel and fountain (mercifully turned off at night). TV, tea and coffee, nice bathroom with powerful shower etc etc.

There are (at least) 2 bars. After our first round we had a drink outside the Terrace Bar which seemed to be spike-tolerant. Then, before dinner we had a quick livener in the main downstairs bar. Drinks weren’t very cheap, £8 for a pint of lager and a G&T. The restaurant was pleasant and airy and modern. Our meals were good, without being spectacular, or indeed particularly large, but the chocolate marquis we both finished off with was incredible, and that may be the best cappuccino I have ever had.

Breakfast the next morning was a buffet of sausages, bacon eggs etc (although Andy very nearly asked for a confit of sausages on a bed of bacon served with a tomato jus), and was very good. Checkout was as painless as check in, over in about 30 seconds.

There was however a slightly disturbing ‘blocked-drains’ smell, which we though must be caused by some standing water near the swimming pool, beside the 16th tee. This was only detectable outside on the terrace, but it was unpleasant.
Also, the bar staff had to spend 10 minutes looking for a corkscrew. In a bar.

I won’t be going back, but that’s mostly because of all the other venues I still have to try. I thought that Rudding park 10 miles down the road had a much nicer course and a similar standard of hotel.

311 YARD DRIVE!!!

I measured it. 311 yards! I'm practically Tiger Woods. But without the beautiful Swedish wife and multi-million pound fortune. But apart from that......

Hole 10, Aldwark manor.

OK, OK, it was downwind and over the brow of a hill but...

I AM STILL A DRIVING MACHINE!!!1!!!

Andy still beat me.

On clearing out the bag...

In preparation for a golf trip to Aldwark manor I spent part of the afternoon clearing out the car boot and the golf bag. During this I learned.....

- Jesus Christ! I buy a lot of pencils. 8 found in the main bag today.

- You wouldn't have to watch me play to see how bad I am, simply count the number of balls I take out with me for a round. 24.

- I seem to have 4 towels, but about 20 dirty balls. Why is that?

- I am personally responsible for the entire production for at least 1 tee manufacturing plant somewhere in China. At least 100 castle tees, which I don't even bloody use anymore! Plus about 50 wooden tees, which I use 'cause they make me feel like a pro.

- Turns out I didn't lose my G-Shock watch in Scotland.

- I seem to have some sort of 'litter-tourettes'. Whenever I finish with something (bottle of lucozade, packet of fags, rescue club etc) I just chuck it in the boot. 4 clubs which I haven't even taken out with me for months in there.

- The guys at Soapy Joe's T*t W*nk and Car Wash will be earning their money tomorrow.

- The Ram QUB3 headcover is still the single ugliest thing I have ever seen.

Golf safety.

When playing golf with colleagues it is best not to stand forward of them any time they are playing a shot. I don’t mean 'not right in front', but not even slightly in front. That way you don’t give them the opportunity to laugh at your expression as their sliced ball passes about 6 inches in front of your shins, or their hook sails about 6 inches over your head.

I swear Dave and Eve were trying to kill me last night. I think the plan was to bump me off and have it away with my shiny new stand-bag.

Yes, I am carrying again. Or rather, carrying for the first time. In the past I have always used pull-trolleys either with a stand bag on, or a trolley bag. In Feb I bought a Motocaddy S1 electric trolley, which is great and makes the actual moving around the course very easy.

However, last week, we were scheduled to play at Duxbury, and they had a trolley ban on. Now, I no longer had a stand bag, or indeed any bag with straps, having donated my very first bag to Matt and Donna when they took it up. Soooo, to cut a long story short (too late, I know), I ended up buying a new stand bag and carrying it round.

This is a major departure for me. Avoidance of physical labour is second nature to me now. But, I found I quite enjoyed it. I felt like I’d had a bit more exercise and vowed to do it more often. So, I have made myself a promise, I will carry my bag for every 9 hole session we go for. I will carry for some 18 hole sessions, especially if it’s fairly flat. If it’s hilly (You know who you are, Scottish courses) I will at least be pulling a trolley.

We’ll see how it goes.

Garstang, 01/08/07.

I am a driving MACHINE!!1!!!



Sadly, I am a putting spaz.

Hit a few really nice drives tonight, and even a couple of decent iron shots, but I seem to be scared of puts... Hmmmm, something else to work on.