Imagine a place beyond sight and sound, beyond reason….. you are entering, the ‘Walk in’ zone.

Walking in, or walking off, the same thing really. It’s when you are so completely hacked off with your game you walk in. I’ve only done it once, but I came very close on Saturday.

Invited to play by a guy I used to work with, turned up, and set off out with our group of 3. The weather was incredible, just so hot you could hardly breath, much less play. After about 12 holes I pretty much stopped caring and would have killed, or at least maimed, for a cold shower. I didn’t walk off, but I pretty much walked the last 3 holes.

“Hey, we can’t find your ball on this short par 3. Want to go back and hit another? There’s nobody on the tee.”

“No, can’t be arsed, put me down for a blob, and the reason there’s nobody on the tee is that is it about 1 million bloody degrees out here!”

Full-on sense of humour failure.

The only time I have walked off was about a month ago at Southport. Society game. Last group, 3 hours for the first 9 holes. Unbe-friggin-lievable. 3 hours! Playing stableford! Watching guys take 7 shots to reach a par 4 green and then all stand about watching each other putt out for no score while people back up on the tee behind them.

I may be shit but even I know that point of stableford is to keep things moving.

OK, so now I’m fuming again. Never mind, playing with them again next Friday, we’ll see how it goes then. It’s on one of my favourite courses too so I might be a bit calmer. We’ll see.

My favourite ever walk-in? Richard Russell, first tee, Sunningdale. Hit one drive, it was rubbish, he walked in.

From Richard’s superb book “My baby got the yips”, available from Amazon, here.

It really is an excellent book in every regard, laugh out loud moments for any golfer, plus the secret of golf. Well, the 2 secrets of golf. OK, actually the three secrets of golf……